The Reluctance to Seek Help
One of the most significant challenges in men’s mental health is the reluctance to seek help. This stems from various factors, often rooted in traditional notions of masculinity. Men may still feel conditioned to believe they must be strong, self-reliant, and in control. Asking for help can be perceived as a sign of weakness or failure, but avoidance can make things worse in the long run.
Several reasons can stop someone asking for help or advice:
Stigma: There is still a perceived stigma surrounding mental health - this can make men fear judgement and discrimination. They may worry about being labeled as "weak" or "not coping," which can deter them from seeking professional help.
Internalised Beliefs: Men are more likely to believe they should be able to handle everything on their own. This can lead to ignoring or downplaying their struggles until they become overwhelming.
Lack of Awareness: Not recognising the signs and symptoms of mental health issues or ignoring symptoms. People mistakenly blame stress or fatigue rather than a deeper underlying issue.
Practical Barriers: Practical barriers such as time constraints, financial concerns, and a lack of resources targeted at men can also prevent them from seeking help.
Toxic Masculinity
Toxic masculinity is the expression of the worst aspects of male stereotypes, and it’s believed that the prevalence of, and exposure to a toxic masculine culture could be harming men’s mental health. Negative and harmful expectations that dictate how men should behave include suppressing emotions, avoiding vulnerability, and prioritising dominance and aggression. Toxic masculinity can create immense pressure on men, leading to significant mental health challenges.
The impact of toxic masculinity includes:
Emotional Suppression: Men feel they need to suppress their emotions to ‘be a man’, especially emotions considered ‘weak’, such as sadness or fear. This can then manifest as anxiety, depression, or anger.
Avoidance of Vulnerability: Openly discussing feelings or seeking help is being vulnerable, which goes against the traditional masculine ‘ideal’. This can lead to isolation and a lack of support when needed most.
Pressure to Conform: Men may feel pressured to conform to traditional masculine stereotypes, even if those stereotypes are harmful or don't align with their true selves. This can lead to internal conflict and mental distress.
Difficulty Forming Healthy Relationships: Toxic masculinity can hinder men’s ability to form healthy relationships due to difficulty expressing emotions and allowing themselves to be vulnerable.
Loneliness and Isolation
Loneliness and isolation are becoming significant concerns for men, contributing to poor mental health outcomes. Several factors contribute to this issue.
Social Expectations: Societal expectations can make it more difficult for men to form close emotional bonds with other men. Some men can end up relying solely on their partner for emotional support, which can put their relationship under pressure. They may even avoid expressing affection or vulnerability for fear of being perceived as "less masculine."
Work and Family Pressures: The pressure to be the primary provider or fulfil outdated traditional family roles can lead to men neglecting their social needs and isolating themselves.
Lack of Social Outlets: Some men may have fewer opportunities to connect with others in meaningful ways, particularly as they get older. Social outlets may become less accessible, leading to increased isolation.
Emotional Distance: The inability to express emotions in a healthy way and connect on an emotional level can create distance in relationships, leading to feelings of loneliness and isolation.
The Power of Support Networks
Building and participating in support networks can be incredibly beneficial for men's mental health. These networks provide a safe space for men to share their experiences, receive support, and build meaningful connections.
Peer Support Groups: Peer support groups offer a platform for men to connect with others who understand their struggles. These groups provide validation, encouragement, and practical advice. See Andy’s Man Club or Men’s Sheds for examples of support groups breaking down the stigma around men’s mental health.
Online Communities: Online forums and social media groups can provide a sense of community and connection for men who may feel isolated. These platforms offer an opportunity to share experiences and access resources.
Workplace Support: Employers can play a role in creating supportive environments for men’s mental health. This can include providing access to mental health resources, promoting open dialogue, and fostering a culture of support. Cera’s own employee resource group Cera Men Connect provides a community of support and a safe space for men working at Cera.
Key Elements of Effective Support Networks:
Active Listening: Paying attention to what others are saying and demonstrating empathy.
Validation: Acknowledging and validating the feelings of others, even if you don't fully understand them.
Sharing Experiences: Being willing to share your own struggles and vulnerabilities to encourage others to do the same.
Practical Help: Offering practical support, such as helping someone find resources or organising activities.
Non-Judgemental Approach: Creating a safe space where men feel comfortable sharing without fear of judgement.
Moving Forward
Addressing men's mental health requires a multi-faceted approach. It involves breaking down the stigma surrounding mental health, challenging toxic masculinity, promoting open dialogue, and building strong support networks.
It is crucial for men to understand that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. By creating a culture of support and understanding, and normalising speaking out about mental health, we can help men feel more comfortable asking for help and prioritising their mental wellbeing.
Organisations like the Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM), Movember, and the Samaritans offer valuable resources and support for men concerned about their mental health. You don’t have to be struggling to start taking care of your mental health. Encouraging men to access these resources and engage in conversations about mental health is a crucial step toward creating a more supportive and understanding society.
If you think someone might be struggling with their mental health check out this advice on the NHS website, which gives practical tips and signposts where to find immediate help.
